How to deal with jealousy or any uncomfortable emotion in 7 steps

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More support for you as you deepen in learning how to deal with jealousy or any uncomfortable emotion

Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of the steps in this series about how to deal with jealousy.

The deepest, most powerful healing occurs from deep simplicity. 

All our mental “doing” actually gets in the way of our innate healing energy, Consciousness, which is what we actually ARE.

The best way to heal is to give up control, let go and get out of the way. :-)

The steps in this series are about ways to LET GO of our complicated mental strategies which only get in the way of true healing.

When we let go of identification with the “me,” innate Intelligence can operate unobstructed. Then healing occurs naturally in ways we could never orchestrate, predict or even understand.

It generally takes awhile for old, ineffective coping habits to let go

Remember, the coping habits we’ve adopted to try to avoid feeling jealousy (and other uncomfortable feelings) is most likely not just from this lifetime, but a lifetimes-old habit, and part of our human conditioning. It probably won’t disappear overnight. :-)

Please be kind and patient with yourself in the meantime as you're learning how to deal with jealousy.

There is no need to judge yourself for anything that arises within you (including self judgement! :-). Letting go happens in stages, and you can’t force it to happen.

As jealousy arises in your life, in the moment you’ll deal with it however you do. The old conditioning may kick in and you might forget everything you learned here.

Please kind with yourself when this happens. Notice I didn’t say “if” it happens,  I said WHEN it happens. :-)

When you totally forget everything you just learned in this series and react or fall into an old coping mechanism, be understanding, gentle and loving with yourself. Take a deep breath, come back to the Present Moment… and begin again with Step 1.

On my own path of healing emotional pain, I’ve done these or similar processes hundreds of times through the years. The suffering keeps letting go more and more deeply, layer by layer. As that happens, more and more peace is uncovered and there is an ever deepening into the realization that I AM the shining Aliveness of this Present Moment.

You’ll find that the more you practice these steps in learning how to deal with jealousy, you will continue to awaken ever more deeply in the realization that you ARE the clear, present ALIVENESS of this moment.

Deeper layers of old pain will be uncovered as you go along

This isn’t usually a “do it once and you’re free of jealousy” process. For most of us, there are layers of feelings of inadequacy. By being with whatever the current triggered feeling is (as outlined in this series), that layer begins to open. 

Then don’t be surprised if you find yourself feeling jealous again. It simply means that a deeper level of inner pain is now revealing itself. And remember this is good news! 

It means a layer of unhappiness that was previously vague and indistinct is now accessible. You can now work with that deeper layer in the way we did in these steps in learning how to deal with jealousy. This is much better than having it stay murky in the background, causing you pain.

Just keep going through the process and there will be a deeper letting go each time. You will know yourself more and more as inner Spaciousness as you continue to practice this.

As you practice being with whatever energy arises within you and being the “Noticer” of it without trying to fix it, you’ll find you’ll be able to gradually extend the amount of time you’re able to simply be with it. 

As you do, your physical body, mind, and energetic body will gradually begin releasing all the tight clenches of jealousy and other painful emotions within you.

You will discover that true, lasting healing only occurs when we let go into Awareness, this which is aware of the emotional energy of jealousy and everything else. In that letting go, your emotional and energetic wounds will gradually unwind on their own. 

No need to put pressure on yourself to do this process exactly as outlined

All the steps in this series on how to deal with jealousy are pointers to get you started. Your own inner Being will guide you in a way that is unique to you. You can trust Beingness.

So don’t be surprised if you begin a particular step and then your inner Guidance takes you in a whole other direction.

You’ll sense you’re on the right path if it is truly coming from your inner Guidance. 

If it is coming from the mind it will feel tight and “off.” If it is from the intelligent Aliveness you are, there will be a quality of relief, openness and spaciousness to it, if only slightly in the beginning.

Remember, the outer situation isn’t actually the cause of the jealousy feeling you experience

When feelings of “I’m not good enough” and other intense self-beliefs get triggered, it means they were already within us, from our young experiences, as I described earlier, and even perhaps from other lifetimes. 

Then our inner energy draws experiences to us which trigger and expose the hurt which was already within us before the event happened on the outside.

Our uncomfortable beliefs about ourselves and the world actually create the experience of inadequacy, alienation, separateness, incompleteness, jealousy, and etc. 

While we're learning how to deal with jealousy we can sometimes feel this way even when we’re not actually being treated poorly, only because we experience the world and our relationships through the lens of the painful beliefs we already have about ourselves.

As I mentioned earlier, when these wounds are triggered this is actually a wonderful opportunity, because what was previously and habitually in the unconsciousness, creating a background sense of emotional pain, is now ACCESSIBLE and available for healing.

We can BE with these energies and see them, which is a profound way of loving and accepting these aspects of ourselves as they are.

You are not inadequate or inferior to anyone or anything

You are the shining, conscious Awareness which is aware OF these painful feelings.

As you continue to practice what is outlined in this series on how to deal with jealousy, you'll gradually feel lighter, more spacious and alive, and increasingly less plagued by debilitating beliefs. 

You’ll begin to notice you are this which is the Noticer of the experience of the jealousy, all emotional pain and everything else in your life experience!

This Noticer is pure Awareness, and isn’t hurt or changed in any way by the feeling of jealousy or anything else. It isn’t “diminishable” in any way. It has never BEEN diminished and never could be.

You, Consciousness have always been here in the background of your experience, even in the most intense ones. Generally our attention is on the foreground of our experience and we miss OURSELVES, which is simply here, conscious of all that goes on.

YOU, are peacefully Alive and Awake, right here, right now, as you read these words.

The healing process has already begun within you

Because you already ARE conscious Awareness, you will eventually know yourself AS Awareness and completely let go of any illusions that seem to obscure it. 

As that organic process occurs, all the emotional / physical clenches let go gradually.

Total and complete healing is assured for you and it will happen in its own time.

The fact that you are here, drawn to this series and you’ve made it all the way to this page, means it is ALREADY happening within you. :-)

How this process can change your life

Everything in our lives is in service to awakening to the truth of the still, alive Presence we already ARE, which is uncovered when we let go of trying to control our lives.

We (as human personalities) aren’t actually in control of these lives. Consciousness is.

As we let go of trying to control ourselves and our lives we begin to experience the space of Stillness beneath the mental noise and illusion of control. We tap into a vast Intelligence which is not of the mind.

Then, even on the human, every-day level, this innate, loving Intelligence you ARE, can more clearly use the mind and speak THROUGH it, giving us gentle but clear nudges - what is sometimes referred to as intuition

As you follow these still, quiet nudges everything in your life works out better. Even when things don’t go the way you think they “should” go, the more you follow the nudges of your Heart, the more you’ll trust it.

With increased trust, the portal of Love opens up ever more widely and deeply, revealing the reality of your Being, where you are ALWAYS at peace, even if “upset” is arising.

It is a pleasure walking along beside you on this adventure!

All love and blessings to you my friend…


how to deal with jealousy

For more support for you...

WellBeing Alignment Sessions

If you’d like support with the healing process outlined in this series on how to deal with jealousy, as well as others that help you know yourself as pure Beingness and let all suffering unwind on its own, let’s get together in a WellBeing Alignment Session! I'd love to meet you.  :-) 

These pages might be helpful for you also…

Uncover your self-concept and free yourself!

How to love yourself

In emotional pain? Here’s how to heal it

Personal accountability – reclaiming our judgments, projections and ourselves

How to forgive others with love and compassion

Self-compassion opens the door to self-healing

Energy healing therapy for finding happiness within and releasing suffering

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