I'm sure you've heard "choose love not fear" before. You'll find it within just about any spiritual path you explore.
Intuitively, we KNOW we will be far happier if we follow it. However, when we are in the thick of things in our daily lives, it sometimes feels impossible to do.
Therefore, I want to share a "bridge" that I've discovered to help you choose love (and therefore, happiness).
But first ...
Why Choose Love Not Fear?
It is only when we align with love, that we can consciously access what we truly ARE: open, unshakeable, all-embracing Awareness, which cannot be hurt in any way and is always at peace, always naturally extending itself to all that is.
Conversely, when we align with fear, we stand on a very
shaky and limited foundation because we experience ourselves as an illusory self-concept rather than the actual, true reality we are. We veil our light, power, love, connection, true strength and happiness.
This love and happiness that we already are isn't dependent on circumstances, events or anything that seems to appear outside of ourselves. It is simply here all the time when we choose love not fear.
Happy For No Reason
There were times in my life when I'd hear someone say something like
"Happiness is a choice" or "Just be happy" and all I felt was annoyed.
couldn't find a path that went from the misery I was feeling to
anything resembling happiness. It all seemed quite foggy.
I also felt guilty, afraid I was doing something wrong, but I just didn't know HOW to be happy.
Gradually, through the years, as my path to awakening has unfolded and opened, and my determination to choose love not fear deepened, enough of the fog has cleared that I now know and experience that I already AM happiness.
I write this site sharing what I've discovered (with a lot of help!) along the way in the hope that it might help you as well.
The following four realizations make up a bridge that can take you from unhappiness to being happy for no reason at all. Just simply happy!
Let's walk across the bridge together and choose love not fear....
Realization #1: All Unhappiness Comes From Fear
Whenever you feel in conflict, unhappy, not at peace, it can only be
because you are aligning with a fear and identifying with it. All fear
comes from believing a painful thought.
How We Create Unhappiness
This is how suffering is created:
A thought, which is actually just a string of words, comes into Awareness and is believed to be true. We literally infuse the thought with the awesome power of our Life Force.
Then we become the victim of what was initially a meaningless, powerless sequence of words.
Consequently, outer experiences are created which match what is now much more than a meaningless string of words. It is now a painful self-identification with a seemingly outer world that echoes the painful self-concept held in mind.
At the core of all fear thoughts is a foundational belief that we are separate from each other and from our Source. That automatically leads to the belief we are incomplete and always lacking something.
Trying to complete ourselves, we turn toward relationships, objects or experiences, always trying to add something "more" to eliminate the feeling of being incomplete.
But we are never completely fulfilled by anything we reach for, because all of it distracts us from turning our attention to the peaceful Awareness we already are.
Another aspect of holding the belief that we are separate, vulnerable beings is the fear that what we already "have" will be taken away from us.
In order to choose love not fear, we first have to expose the fear.
Invite your mind to bring up any subject it wants to that is
troubling to you. Whatever it is, it will fall into one of
the following categories:
Career / Life Purpose or Path
Let's say that the first issue that comes to mind is a persistent physical ailment.
When you think about this subject, notice the type of thoughts that come
up about it. Ask yourself, "What am I most afraid will happen?"
Now, in order to choose love not fear, decline to get
involved in the mental discussion about all the scary things that can
happen, or even the positive things you want to happen. Instead just notice the fear thought that is at the core of the unhappiness
Realization #2: If You Are Afraid, You Have Chosen Not To Love
Everything that happens to you can only occur because you have chosen
to experience it. Everything. You may not fully remember choosing it,
but nevertheless, it couldn't show up in your life otherwise.
the previous realization we saw the progression from the appearance of a
random thought, investing it with belief, identifying with it, and then
experiencing life situations that mirror it.
At each juncture
of this progression there is a choice point – the option to choose
love not fear. The choice we make at any of those choice points
determines the path which follows it.
If we feel overcome with
fear, we have chosen to identify with our fear thoughts / beliefs rather
than the love which is actually what we really are.
When a fear
thought such as "What if this ailment keeps getting worse?" arises, note
that it is just a thought. A collection of words. It has no meaning or
significance unless you jump on board that train of thought, investing
it with your Life Force.
Remember, that train has only one destination: suffering.
In Order To Choose Love Not Fear What Can You Do When Fear Thoughts Arise?
Simply notice the thought and let it go by. Be the Awareness that is aware OF the thought. Stay in the "train station" and let the "trains of thought" come and go without jumping on board them.
This realization is primarily noticing that you DO have a choice. You can choose to love yourself instead of jumping on board a fear train of self torture. The opportunity to choose comes every time you become aware of a fear thought that presents itself.
You can notice:
"There is a fear thought again. I am AWARE of this thought and the fear I feel when I jump on board that train of thought."
Then you can make a different choice:
"I notice that I, the Awareness that is aware of this thought, isn't affected or changed at all by this fear thought. I choose love. I will just be here as the Awareness that is aware OF the thought and let it go by."
If you practice this daily, your experience of life will become much softer and much more joyful!
Realization #3: The Remedy For Fear Is Perfect, 100% Love
Wondering where you're going to find Perfect, 100% Love?
Well, perfect, 100% Love is what you, Awareness, actually already ARE!
Gradually, as you consciously choose love not fear, you will begin to experience yourself AS love.
Even if love feels like a distant concept that you just can't connect with at the moment, still choose it. When your intention is to know yourself as love, simply choosing it opens up the doorway for you to experience it.
You'll find that every time you choose love not fear, you'll
feel supported, even if it is just a subtle feeling at first.
When we align with what we truly are, Pure Awareness, we
then begin to know ourselves as the infinite power of truth, where we
and Source are One Being of Perfect, 100% Love.
On the other hand, when we choose
fear, we feel small, vulnerable and alone because that is the self-concept that always comes from investing fear thoughts with belief.
We build an identify around the fears and our world seems
to collapse and shrink.
As you learn to choose love not fear, I encourage you to ask for help and guidance from within with this
The habit of believing thoughts and investing them with
belief is a strong one, and part of the conditioning we've experienced for
If you have a particular spiritual path or a being you look
to for guidance then you can ask them to guide you, such as:
Spirit / Source / Love / Jesus / Angels / Awareness, (fill in the words that are meaningful to you) please guide me. I choose you, Love. Please show me the way."
essence, all beings are ourSelf, Awareness. There is only One Being here. I recommend
calling on yourSelf Awareness in whatever way is meaningful for you.
This points your attention more deeply into yourSelf as Awareness and is
a powerful way to choose love not fear.
These pages can also help you to know yourself as Awareness / Love:
Realization #4: You Already Have Everything, And In Fact ARE Everything
In the previous realization, you began to discover and know yourself as Awareness. Now the next step is to explore "it." Ask it questions. Get to know it.
Direct your questions to This That Is Simply Here And Aware, not to the linear mind. In other words, as you (Awareness) are simply here, don't THINK about the answers. Instead, keep it child-like and simple. Just check your actual experience as you ask yourSelf, Awareness:
Am I, Awareness, lacking anything?
Is anything missing?
Am I, Awareness, incomplete in any way?
If you truly turn to Awareness for the answers to these questions (not the thinking mind), you'll find the answer will be "no" for all of them. If you get a "yes" answer to any of them, the answer came from the mind, not Awareness.
Awareness doesn't answer in an actual "no" or "yes" word. Words only exist in the linear mind. Instead, you'll notice a knowing-ness that doesn't require words.
As we realize that we, Awareness never lack anything, the realization activates gratitude and giving, even in the realm where we think we are a body / mind.
While you are learning to choose love not fear, if you aren't fully in touch with yourSelf as Awareness, you can open the door to discovering yourself in this way, by both gratitude and giving.
The Power Of Gratitude
A bridge to choosing love is the power of gratitude. Gratitude is a doorway that opens our attention into the love we already are.
As you experience yourself as Pure Awareness, you'll notice that "you" naturally extend in all directions. (Actually, Awareness is dimension-less so it knows no directions, but even on the level of the body / mind you'll be able to feel a sensation of extension.)
One of the ways we experience this natural extension of Awareness is in gratitude.
Awhile back I saw a wonderful recommendation on Facebook:
At the beginning of the year pick out a jar or container that you like. Then every time you experience something wonderful, write a note about it and put it in the jar. At the end of the year, read the notes and revel in the blessings you experienced.
Even in the most intense times we can find at least one thing to be grateful for. By noticing that, we open our attention to ourselves as love.
The Power Of Giving
is another way we experience the natural, loving extension of ourselves, Awareness. Love naturally extends itself, knowing it is always receiving and giving from / to Itself.
When we give from the heart, without any agenda attached, we affirm the truth that we are
already whole and complete.
When we know we already ARE
everything, we automatically know that we already HAVE everything as
well. We realize that nothing real can be taken from us.
I recommend asking yourself each day:
"What can I give today?"
Even if nothing readily comes to mind when you ask the question, keep asking it throughout the day. That opens the door to love. You'll find during your day that opportunities to give from the heart present themselves.
Your gift may simply be a smile. :-) Never underestimate the power of a smile.
Remember, there is only One, seamless Being here, Pure Awareness, where we and
Source and all Life occupy the same "space-less" space at the same time.
If you'd like support in the realizations explored here or for learning how to let any kind of suffering unwind, I'm very happy to coach you...
In WellBeing Alignment Sessions
you can learn an amazingly simple yet powerful, direct method of
letting all forms of suffering and "stuckness" unwind by itself, and
discover you are the Peace that was underneath it all along!
“Since our session, I feel as though I was given the gift of myself again. My energy seems more stable and I am grounded and bathed in white light. Thank you!!!”
~ D. Dubois
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