How to deal with jealousy or any uncomfortable emotion in 7 steps


Step 6
Experience yourself as Being, the only source of true love and healing

You are BEING.

I’ve experienced many healing modalities in learning how to deal with jealousy and other life experiences, all of which had varying degrees of effectiveness on my own healing path at different stages. They also have had their place in the healing work I share with others.

Along the way I realized that what determines the effectiveness of any healing technique is how deeply it points our attention into letting go into Presence, the true reality of Being.

We aren’t what we think we are

Everything, even inanimate objects, is vibrating, alive Energy. 

On this physical plane of manifestation, your body is an expression of the Alive Beingness you truly are. Therefore, your body can be a vehicle for becoming increasingly aware of yourself AS Beingness.

When you shift attention to the actual experience of your body, rather than your thoughts about your body or anything else, you can begin to notice it is pure Energy.

This noticing is a doorway into a wider experience of yourself as pure, conscious Aliveness. As we experience ourselves as this pure Energy, our usual identification of being a separate, flawed “me” can be seen for what it is: simply a collection of mental concepts of ourselves which have nothing to do with what we truly are.

The following meditations will help you shift your attention to your own Presence, which is a key aspect of learning how to deal with jealousy, and any true healing.

(Note: It actually isn't "your" Presence or "my" Presence. Consciousness, Presence, is what all life IS. However, to help us focus on the vibrating Aliveness which is US, it helps to start with our own "me" experience of it.)

Meditation 1:
Sense your energy field, the aliveness of your inner body

Eckhart Tolle is one of my favorite spiritual teachers, who I experience as completely awake to the truth of Being. In his talks and books he gives us many pointers which act as doorways to shift attention to the truth of Being – the reality we truly are.

The exercise below is my understanding and experience of one of those doorways he introduced me to, which has been particularly powerful for myself as well as for many of my WellBeing Alignment clients.

To get the feel of what we'll be doing together here, you’ll need to read all of the following meditation before doing it, because your eyes will be closed for the entire process. Or you can go through it by reading a step, closing your eyes and doing it, then opening them, reading and doing the next step.

1. Let your eyes close.

2. Raise one of your hands, so it’s not touching anything.

3. Now, without moving your hand, touching anything with it, or opening your eyes, check to see if your hand is still here. 

Don’t refer to your mind when you do this. It will say something like, “Well of course my hand is still here; I just saw it and moved it a few seconds ago.” 

Instead, stay in this present moment, and actually check, experientially, to see if your hand is still here.

4. I’m going to assume you discovered it is. :-)  So… how do you KNOW your hand is still here?

The only way you can know this is by sensing the vibrating aliveness of your hand. You are AWARE of an aliveness that IS your hand.

5. Do the same thing with your other hand.

6. See if you can experience both your hands together at the same time.

7. Still with eyes closed, repeat the process with the same intensity of focus, with each area of your body listed below.

The mind will want to take over and say, “Okay, I got it. Each area is alive. I already know that.” 

However, don’t listen to your mind. Instead, actually “travel” to each area of your body with your attention and EXPERIENCE it, not by thinking about it, but sensing / feeling it.

One by one, taking your time, shift your attention to the inside of each of the following areas in your body. Notice, sense and feel the vibrating aliveness within each area. Do this for a few seconds or more before moving on to the next area:

  • hands

  • forearms

  • elbows

  • upper arms

  • shoulders and neck

  • face

  • head

  • upper torso from waist up

  • lower torso from waist down

  • upper legs

  • knees

  • lower legs

  • feet (including the bottom of your feet)

You may notice you’re more aware of certain areas of your body (such as your hands, face, and bottom of your feet) than others. This is generally true for most people.

8. Now see if you can sense, feel and experience the aliveness of the entire energy field of your whole body all at once.

BE this vibrating Aliveness. This is the reality of your Being. This is what you truly ARE, what you’ve always been, what you’ll always be, even after the body itself is no more.

Everything else we identify with – our name, history, thoughts, concepts, emotions, etc. – are all passing phenomena, constantly changing.

But YOU, vibrating, awake, aware Aliveness, never change. Nothing needs to be added to you and nothing could ever be taken away from you.

When your attention is on THIS that you are, it is the same THIS that I am, that we all are together as ONE.

9. Notice that this vibrating Aliveness has a quality of an all-encompassing, warm love within it.

10. Invite your mind to come up with words that will help you return your attention here again, such as “I Am” or “This That I Am.”

Pick something you truly resonate with, words which describe this Presence the best for you. 

Later these words can serve as a doorway to directly shift your attention back to your Self as Beingness, as you deepen in learning how to deal with jealousy.

11. Now, open your eyes and once again tune into your inner energy field as you look about the room.

Meditation 2:
Give the feeling of jealousy (or any strong emotion) over to Being for healing

Now that you have an experience of the reality of Being, the true source of all healing, let’s give your inner suffering of jealousy over to Beingness for healing in this step in learning how to deal with jealousy.

(Note: even if you felt the Aliveness of your inner body in the previous meditation only vaguely, that is enough for healing to begin. In time, you will experience more and more. The following meditation will still be effective for you no matter if your experience in Meditation 1 was large or small.)

1. As we did before, think of a situation where you feel / felt jealousy. 

Then, to help you deepen in your learning of how to deal with jealousy, invite the jealousy feelings (or any other emotion you feel) up to the surface, pretend the people involved are physically in the room with you now.

2. Bring loving attention to the uncomfortable jealousy sensations / energies within your body as we did in Step 5.

Simply notice the jealousy sensations as they are without trying to change them.

3. Once again tune into the Aliveness of the energy field of your entire body, as we did in Meditation 1 above. 

4. Let go into the vibrating Aliveness of your inner energy field. Give it the reins of your life. Hand over all control to this energy, this Life Force you actually ARE.

5. Now, FROM the Aliveness of the energy field of your body, BE this Aliveness.

6. Shift attention back to the energy in your body the mind would call “jealousy” (or whatever strong emotion you are working with). 

As you do this, notice that this Aliveness you ARE, doesn’t label “jealousy” as “jealousy.” In fact, it doesn’t label anything and doesn’t use words at all.

7. As you experience the “jealousy” energy FROM the Aliveness of your your entire body, check to see if this vibrating Aliveness:

  • has any problem with the “jealousy” energy being here? 

  • forms a “me” story about it?

  • tries to change anything?

  • has to DO anything for healing?

If you truly view the “jealousy” energy FROM Aliveness, you’ll find that the answer to all the previous questions is “no.”

If you get a “yes” to any of the questions:

You’re listening to thoughts rather than the Aliveness itself. If that is the case, don’t judge yourself. All of us have been conditioned to listen to (and identify with) our minds all our lives. It is an unconscious habit. 

The more you practice these meditations, the more experience you'll have of yourself as Aliveness. Consequently, you'll gradually rely on the mind made "me" less and less. All this helps you deepen in learning how to deal with jealousy.

For now, just continue on to the next step...

8. Shift attention back to being your entire energy field, the silent, awake, aware Aliveness itself, as we did in Meditation 1 above. Rest in the warmth of the love of this vibrating, awake Aliveness you ARE.

9. BE this Aware Aliveness…. Turn over everything to This.

Healing flows naturally and at its own pace as we learn how to deal with jealousy when “we” get out of the way

The pace at which healing occurs is affected both by:

  • How identified we are with our thoughts about our suffering 

  • How deeply we can let go of them

Deep healing occurs spontaneously when we exit the mind with our attention and instead BE the true SOURCE of all healing – the innate alive, awake, aware INTELLIGENCE of Being.

It happens at its own pace. You can’t push the river, as the old saying goes. Consciousness is in charge, not our minds.

When we (as the mind) get out of the way and give up trying to control or manage anything, all energies that seemed tight and separate (because they are a reflection of our tight and separate thoughts and beliefs) automatically begin to open and release the illusory walls of separation which create the feeling of suffering.

All of this is a part of learning how to deal with jealousy in this series.

Everything in your being is ENERGY. YOU are energy.

And it is all the SAME energy when we decline to separate anything out and call it “jealousy” or “anger,” etc.

The energy in your face, hands, feet, and entire body is actually the same exact Life Force as the aliveness in the “jealousy” feeling. 

However, we mentally label and categorize one as “good” and the other as “bad,” which causes us to experience them as separate and different. And that is a recipe for suffering. :-) 

It is true that we all have uncomfortable experiences. However, whether or not we refer to our mental commentary ABOUT our experiences determines if we suffer or not.

All suffering is created in the mind. ALL of it.

how to deal with jealousy

Next, come on over to Step 7!
Tune into unconditional love for all the people involved in your experience of jealousy or any uncomfortable emotion

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