Although we all have the same capacity to feel our connection with our Creator, everyone has their own unique way of asking "Who is God?" and feeling a response. I will share with you ways to open up your communication with God and from there you will find your own way that is uniquely yours.
How I Found My Personal Connection With God
After a lifetime of seeking emotional healing, I finally realized the only thing that would heal me was love. I had certainly tried everything else to release the downward pull of fear and depression. I knew I had to find a way to love myself, but I didn’t know how. I had no clue. There was so much shame, self-hatred and feelings of unworthiness of love, especially love from God.I started with what I had and from where I was at the time. I began parenting myself whenever my hurt, angry, overwhelmed, hopeless-feeling core got triggered. I dialogued with the child (how I experienced the wounded aspect of myself) inside and took on the role of being the parent I had always wanted. I did the best I could to find a place inside myself that could feel the heart of this hurt little one and love her (me). I could then honestly tell the little being inside that she was loved. This took a lot of practice but I kept at it and the self-hatred started to ease up. I started to feel forgiveness for myself and others. This was an important first step and helped quite a bit.
However I still felt isolated and alone, trying to do it all myself – me helping me.
It wasn’t until I experienced a 12 Step Program (based on the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous) that the extremely important next step came. I had to come face to face with the fact that I couldn’t heal alone. I simply did not have the power to do it. My little pool of love was just not enough and too easily depleted. I realized I was powerless over the shame and worthlessness I felt, as well as the addictions that sprung out of that.
Once again, I found myself asking the “Who is God?” question. After years of meditating, I thought I had a pretty good connection with Creator before, but I realized I needed to develop a RELATIONSHIP with my Source. I needed to find out "Who is God?" for ME. I saw that I needed to surrender to a power greater than myself because I sure hadn’t been able to help myself on my own. I just hadn’t been able to believe that the shadowy “negative” aspects of myself could possibly be loved too. I repeatedly asked God, Source:
While exploring the "Who is God?" question I was drawn to read a book by Paul Ferrini called Love Without Conditions. While reading that book I felt a door inside open just enough that I could feel a glimmer of the possibility of UNCONDITIONAL love – even for the place inside where I felt unlovable.
I felt the Presence of Christ Mind literally come and sit close beside me and tell me It was never going to leave me. I felt It saying that there was an unlimited amount of love to heal ALL aspects of myself and there was no part of me or anyone else that was not worthy of love and forgiveness. I was told that I had never done anything wrong and neither had anyone else. We are all here learning our lessons and doing the best we can in accordance with our spiritual evolution in any given moment.
As I continued exploring "Who is God?" eventually the realization came: Creator loves me exactly as I am and always has and always will. I could FEEL this! To keep myself in the zone of this realization I repeated over and over again …
… in meditation and in my daily life. The more I repeated it and made the effort to align myself with this God Energy, the more I experienced it.
Eventually that evolved into the realization that if Creator sees me worthy of love, then I can too. I can love myself by seeing myself through Source’s eyes. I was beginning to FEEL my own answer to the "Who is God?" question.
The words …
… became an ongoing part of my day. I still say these words (or a version of them) silently to myself, sometimes several times a day.
Who Is God For YOU?
“It is not enough that one surrenders oneself. Surrender is to give oneself up to the original cause of one’s being. Do not delude yourself by imagining such a source to be some God outside you. One’s source is within oneself. Give yourself up to it. That means that you should seek the source and merge in it.”
God is already here. Its end of the conversation is already open and flowing. We just need to learn to listen to it, receive it, and engage with it.
Don’t wait for times when you’re hurting to explore the “Who is God?” question. As you say the words below, or ones that feel more natural to you, “listen” for God’s response. You may feel It as warmth and love and/or you may hear words that form within your being. When you do this regularly, your connection will grow so much that Source is much more consciously accessible to you in times when you are hurting or flailing.
Even if you don’t believe the words above, still try it. Just say the words. Even that will begin to point you into alignment with this awesome unconditional love and healing, and help you experience "Who is God?" for YOU.
Be willing to let the warmth flow in. Use your words to energetically remind yourself you are loved.
As you continue practicing this, you will feel a healing love transfusion of warmth, love, joy and wellbeing flowing into your being. As you stay with it, the flow automatically widens and shifts into surrender. At that point not only will you feel love flowing into you, you will also feel yourself letting go of everything in your life and everything that you think you are, giving it all up to God. It becomes a two-way flow of energy. You will feel everything merge and melt into one big energy field of Love. You will experience your own answer to the “Who is God?” question.
“Do what you can with what you have, where you are.”
In your desire to find out "Who is God?" for YOU, if you can’t FEEL love or God and even if you aren’t aware of any kind of connection to Higher Power at all, continue to ask for the love, the healing. DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF.
All that is required is to sincerely ask and your experience of love will come. It is already here for you, but sometimes it takes practice to open and receive it. We need to start where we are, no matter where we are.
Even just the sincere asking for help will open the door and you will begin to feel relief. Try it and see. It will immediately begin shifting your energy. The more you turn toward the solution (God), the more the door to love within you opens and you automatically align with that high, pure energy field, giving you a direct, experiential answer to the "Who is God?" question.
As you go about your day, as often as you think of it, talk to God, even if it feels awkward or silly. Just begin. You’ll thank yourself later for being willing to persevere through this "Who is God?" learning process!
Try just saying …
Even this can be very powerful. You will feel your energy shift and align with Higher Power.
Or just say:
The word “yes” is a very powerful word. Test this out for yourself. Sit quietly and say “yes” to yourself or out loud. Feel how your body, mind and feelings respond. Then say “no” aloud or to yourself. Again, notice how your body, mind and feelings respond.
“The word ‘enlightenment’ conjures up the idea of some superhuman accomplishment, and the ego likes to keep it that way, but it is simply your natural state of felt oneness with Being. It is a state of connectedness with something immeasurable and indestructible, something that, almost paradoxically, is essentially you and yet is much greater than you. It is finding your true nature beyond name and form.”
As you’re exploring your own answer to the “Who is God?” question, it is important to remember that talking with Creator is a two-way conversation. Tell your trusted friend (Source) everything you need to, but also sit in silence and FEEL God. It’s reply might be in a feeling of warmth, the presence of love, and/or in words of inspiration that come to you.
In my "Who is God?" exploration, I first started talking to God indirectly. Instead of “Hello, God,” it was “I breathe Source in,” or “I open to God’s love.”
I realized this was because I felt unworthy to talk to God directly. I spoke to myself ABOUT Source, rather than TO Source.
I became aware that I was holding God off and away from me, resisting the love. I felt an invitation to come closer, to just absolutely surrender to the love. I felt Creator inviting me to speak directly to It – to have an actual conversation with God! At this point my "Who is God?" exploration became much more intimate and personal.
Whew! This really opened up the floodgates of Love. Remember to feel into WHO you are talking to as you speak, either silently or aloud.
Another way to explore the “Who is God?” question for yourself is to just start writing to Source about whatever is bothering you and ask It directly for help. Write until you run out of something to say. Then sit quietly and wait for Source’s response.
If your mind is revved up with thoughts, just say the word “God” (or whatever word fits best for you) or "Who is God?" over and over, silently or aloud. This gives the mind something to do, yet still aligns you with Source’s high, pure, energy field.
Then write whatever words pop into your heart / head. Or maybe sensations will come and you can describe them in writing. You can’t do this wrong. Just stay in the present moment, aware and awake to whatever you see, hear, feel and sense. Take each moment as it comes and follow the path where you feel the most relief, light and love, even if it is just a small glimmer at first.
As I mentioned before, in my "Who is God?" exploration, when I first started to feel a PERSONAL connection with God, It came through as Jesus (Universal Christ Mind), as a loving bridge into Source. What a surprise this was for me! I’d felt connections with spiritual beings before, but never such a personal one as the one with Jesus. It felt like He came looking for me, whereas with all my other spiritual teachers I went seeking to find them and when we connected there was still a feeling of being removed or detached. With Jesus, there was an effortless merging. For me, this made my experiential answer to "Who is God?" much more direct.
“Your path has its own simple beauty and mystery. It is never what you think it is, yet it is never beyond your ability to intuit the next step.”
Don’t judge any of it. Just keep asking "Who is God?" and opening to the love and stay aware and awake. Watch for glimmers of relief. When you feel one, just keep your attention there and follow where it leads you. Your being will automatically respond to this love in whatever form it comes in. You will simply know you can trust it without question. As you trust it, your conscious connection will grow and grow and you will know "Who is God?" for YOU.
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I am still processing and learning from it. The work you did with me has helped me tremendously. I feel like I have stepped into a new phase of my life. You told me my inner child was excited to share stuff with me and that my root chakra had wisdom I would now tap into.
Since that day I have a whole new outlook on life. It feels like I am gaining new knowledge and understanding that I didn't have before. Since ‘meeting’ this little girl inside me, I feel like this is the first time in my life that I have truly begun to forgive and love myself.
Thank you for the wonderful work you do!”
As we did several beautiful exercises together to put this into practice, you were able to show me the many guises of my rather sneaky ego, and to help me to recognize it’s strategies so that I can move out of its trap(s) and back into the fullness of my being. Empowering one's clients to take full responsibility for their thoughts and subsequent creations/manifestations is the mark of a master ‘old soul’ teacher. And, you did so with great clarity, love, grace and compassion – for that too, I am most appreciative.
Your depth of understanding is unparalleled. I have never felt so deeply UNDERSTOOD by anyone. I know that it is not my purpose (or perhaps even my right) to be understood by others in this lifetime, but rather, it’s my purpose to understand them. Nevertheless, to have a mentor who ‘gets’ me so completely – and sees through my ego games and darkness right through to my light (and loves me anyway) – buoys my spirit and fills me with an indescribable lightness of being. And that is what I carry forward from yesterday’s session. How does one say thanks for such a profound gift of renewal and love!?
Thank you for giving me the key to free myself, Kai! You are a treasure. Much love and my deepest appreciation.”
“Wow, I am still not able to put into words what you have helped me to experience and to release. I am so beyond grateful for the gift you have given me. The first couple of days after our session, I had the strangest feeling... a feeling of hope, and a kind of general thought that ‘everything will be alright.’ It was like a kind of gentle mist just in the background of my awareness, and it related directly to the golden light that I experienced in my solar plexus during our session – my power. It felt strange because I haven’t felt or thought that way in the longest time, except I didn’t know I was ‘missing’ it until I had it again! Love and such huge, huge gratitude.”
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